Friday, October 18, 2002

Fears of the Dark

6.8 Km, 37:09.9, Dark 0°C, light wind

The turmoil of yesterday and this morning has left me confused and unfocused. It is dark & silent on my run today. My focus keeps coming back to the fears that are holding me lately.

  1. fear of risking my current job just because it is unsatisfying
  2. fear of not being able to "fool" anyone else that I should be paid my current wage
  3. fear of appearing a "fool" for needing a god (even a couple of minor ones) to help me decide what to do
  4. fear that my current employer will decide a little more fat trimming is necessary for the health of the company (who do you think they would let go?).

I am sure I could go on. It is encouraging that some of these fears I am addressing.

PBGs be willing, I will be ready to jump when the time comes.

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