Double Entry DAY! Woohoo!
I had coffee with a friend on Thursday. She is worried that her husband doesn't love her. I know that he does, and she is pretty sure that he does, but he doesn't show it to her very well.
*I* know that he loves her because I see it in his actions. He treats her with a great deal of respect. He honors her wishes and lets her be in control because he knows it makes her happier. Her well-being is his highest priority.
While my friend sees some of these ways he expresses his love for her, it isn't what she is looking for. She wants to receive cards. She wants "I love yous". She wants flowers. She wants tender touches (you know the kind that have nothing to do with sex?). She wants, in short, what most women want and what most men really don't understand. She wants a clear sign that she is loved!
Now, my friend is wise enough to know that her great need for external approval stems from her own insecurity. If he tells her he loves her, she will be more able to love herself. If he tells her she is lovely, she will feel slightly more beautiful. If he appreciates her appearance when she makes a special effort, she will take more care and look nicer for him.
So, for all you guys out there; pay attention. It isn't critical for you to understand your woman. Your route out of the dog house could well be very simple.
Notice the special efforts she makes. Take a sticky note, write a positive comment on it and leave it stuck to the microwave. Bring her an aspirin, without being asked and when she thanks you, tell her "you are worth it". She'll love you more, and in the end, you will find you love her more and show it to her better.