Monday, March 01, 2004

Your Best Interest

I hate my current work.

I don't like the environment. Our office is scummy. Our focus has changed from 'Science' to 'poker'. I don't feel like I get any respect or positive feedback for the work I do. I sometimes feel that the 'decision makers' above me have lost touch with reality.

Sure there are lots of things about my work that I do like. That is what makes it so hard to look for other work. I don't intend on listing what the good things are... (EDIT: not much point of doing that now is there?)

So I took my troubles to the PBGs. Ok, I'll say it, I prayed to Them... while running, for help. Let me tell you, that is not my way of doing things at all. I am uncomfortable with prayer and I think it is ONLY in the context of running that I could possibly be comfortable with 'voicing' a prayer.

As my run progressed I came to the conclusion that I really didn't want angels sliding down gossamer beams coming to my rescue. I have never had difficulty getting work in the past. I would fluke out and someone would offer me a job and I would accept it. Bang, bang, bang. It did, however seem like a pretty random process. I hardly ever considered if the job I was accepting was the right job for me. Not exactly career planning. Sort of career wandering.

So in the end, I ask Them NOT to help me get a job. "I would like to take a hand in it myself."

Much to my surprise, They agreed that "that would probably be for the best." But, they didn't leave it at that. They also sent me a couple symbols that notified me that their hand would be hidden, but their influence would still be there (and visible if I cared to look). They also said that blessings would be mine should I choose to accept them.

God paints the sky every moment of every day. If I choose to look at the ground, I can keep my world grey and negative. But when I am ready, all I have to do is look skyward to see the wonders placed there for all to see.

EDIT: This post is way overdue. I didn't actually post it until March 23, after I had been looking for work for 3 weeks

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