Congratulations Mo

WaHOOO! Mo just got the word that she will be working for the City during the Municipal Election campaign as a researcher. Her position is officially a Clerk II but she tells me that she will be doing more researching and phone answering than typing.

It is a full time position with every second Monday off. The position goes for 6 months.

If you know Mo, you will know that she is both excited and fretting the details of becoming a full time employee.

I get to to be "Mister Mom" for at least the month of June. I plan to continue to look for work, but Mo's job will take away a lot of the money pressures we have been dealing with. My EI premiums won't last forever, after all.

Marathon Training Commences

I got the word from on high. Today is the start of my Marathon training for the Edmonton Marathon in August.

No, not that far on high, just from Neal. We start our first training run of 4 miles tonight. He will be celebrating the event with some new shoes. If you want to check on our progress, I will be setting up a countdown clock here. I doubt that I will be posting training comments or anything else there, so no need to bookmark that page.

Our training program is 12 weeks and Larry, Neal and I all have a pretty good base. Larry is running 24 Miles a week and Neal and I are running 27 miles. Our longest run will be 23 miles! Yikes.

Word Fails Me

Ron Shank and I are making progress of sorts. We have taken our discussion about things religious off the public stage into email and chat.

Ron and I are surprisingly similar. There are, however, things that we strongly believe that differ. Here is a brief summary.

Assertion	Ron	TM90
Bible is Infallible	Yes	No
Bible is Valuable	Yes	Yes
homosexuality is an Abomination	Yes	No†
There's more to Christianity than being a Good Person	Yes	Yes
Promiscuous behavior can be physically harmful	Yes‡	Yes
Promiscuous behavior is a Mortal Sin	Yes	Yes
Homosexuals should be allowed to Marry	No	Yes*
Marriage would 'Save' Homosexuals	No	Yes

Notes:

I haven't passed this table before Ron yet, but I think I have captured his intentions in the table. If he disagrees, or wants other qualifiers, I will update this post.

†  God and the Bible would seem to disagree with me on this point.

‡  perhaps Ron would say that unrepentant promiscuity is always dangerous to your salvation

*  I do not think marriage must be supported by churches; I would be satisfied by a secular service that had some legal weight. If they wish to profess their commitment to God, that is up to them, naturally.

Ron and I have yet to discuss Salvation. I suspect that my beliefs as listed above preclude me from Salvation. Then again, it has been pointed out that I am an idolater, thief, adulterer, liar and a murder.

I probably wasn't going to Heaven anyway.

Intolerant Reply

Note: Look here for the entire spectrum of belief in this issue.

No, Ron, you have it wrong. I wasn't saying that you were intolerant. I was implying that your interpretation of God and the messages you take from the Bible as being intolerant.

I looked at the links you suggested in your post. I particularly liked the flash presentation. The concepts in that presentation have been laid out by you in your blog again and again. This presentation sums up your position quite well.

Here are some highlights:

He will punish all liars, the lustful, adulterers, idolaters, and blasphemers (Revelations 21:8). The place of eternal punishment is Hell.

This comes after some explanation of what God considers a lie, lustful, adultery, and idolatry, which, of course includes nearly every action we, as human beings, take. It then goes on to say that:

God does not want you to perish. He is rich in Mercy and compassion, and has provided a way for you to be forgiven.

God expects an almost impossibly high standard (well, god-like, actually) and then gives you an easy out. Sounds a lot like a used car salesman to me. ("Just $19.95 three times a week buys you all this!"). The presentation goes on to say that if you simply say the magic words (and to its credit, it says the intention behind the words is more important than the words themselves) that all will be right again. Oh and read the bible. That's important too.

So God is willing to pay your bail as long as you admit that you are worthless and useless.

God is offering it to you as proof of His love for you.

This portrait of God, to me, implies that God has very little respect for his creation. He knows that we are filthy as hell and expects us to be darling little angels and promises to throw us into the fiery furnace for eternity if we don't relent and become his puppets.

If Ron and the people of his faith are right, then many of us are in mortal danger because:

No one comes to the Father except through me.

All must come to God through Ron's faith. God has no tolerance for slackers. God does not take gays. God does not take Muslims. God certainly doesn't take Jews (because they don't except Jesus). God is so intolerant that He is only willing to give you a chance if you dangle on His strings. But if not, it's the rubbish tip for you.

I am not at either extreme in my stance. I have no solid answers. I don't know if homosexuality is biological or not. I don't know if sexual orientation can be changed. It, like handedness, can probably be changed if your 'treatments' are extreme enough (with questionable humanity, I might add). I just don't believe that homosexuals are any more evil than heterosexuals.

I am sorry Ron. I just can't buy that. It is your interpretation of how God works that I find intolerant.

Ron 'knows' he has solid answers because he believes that the bible is THE TRUTH. Even if that is the case, the bible is still open to interpretation. Those who choose to interpret it one way and deny all other interpretations have solid answers. But they do come off sounding intolerant.

Love Each Other

Intolerance (n-tlr-ns)

\In*tol"er*ance\, n. ...

• The quality of being intolerant; refusal to allow to others the enjoyment of their opinions, chosen modes of worship, and the like; want of patience and forbearance; illiberality; bigotry; as, intolerance shown toward a religious sect.

In response to Ron Shank's post on Same Sex marriges in the State of Massachusetts.

In another post, Ron accuses this nice couple (and I say couple because that is what I believe they are) of calling the wrath of God down on the entire USA.

I don't believe this man needs any help at all from them in accomplishing that.

Past, Present, Future

Nothing is gained by dwelling in the past; who knows what the future holds; I think I can deal with the present. So 'Happy Birthday' to me.

Seattle Marathon Picture

I am experimenting with a new picture posting product called Hello. I think I will be able to start sprucing up my blog with some small graphics. The only trouble might be the automatic sizing that happens when you upload a picture. I hope I can work this out. Until then, here is a picture you may or may not have seen before:


Me in the 2003 Seattle Marathon 

Inspiration by TNT18

For the runners (new and old) in the crowd, join Phillip Martin in his preparations for:

Fall 2004 Marathon Season. I've Rejoined the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training and hope to raise $2000 and complete my 3rd Chicago Marathon.

on his new blog TNT18

I encourage others to take fitness into their own hands and dare to dream big. Don't kid yourself, every marathon is a struggle. But it is the challenge that makes all the effort worthwhile.

I have completed three now and I am about to gear up for the Edmonton Marathon in August.

Now all I have to do is find money for new shoes and the entry fee.

Senseless Death

I have been reading Nikki P's journal for some time now. She is a spirited lady who always tells it, if not how it really is, exactly the way she sees it. With Passion. While I don't always agree with her outlook, I always respect her ability to cut to the heart of any issue.

She gives a long list of personal aquaintances, in the link above, who have been killed senselessly by gun-toting 'morons'. In my opinion these people have no business owning guns. In fact, the number of people with guns is at the heart of the problem. But I digress...

Nikki goes on to say that what we need is more prayer and "more time [dedicated] to Jehovah". Amen.

But what strikes me as ironic is this part:

In 2001, a co-worker of mine was shot and killed....because someone didn't like the way he drove.

Senseless......

I wish people didn't care about the things that didn't matter. I wish that people would think more and act less. I wish that people would learn to rely on and trust in God more than material things and pride.

I respect her stance on this, but Nikki is also quick tempered and often posts rants about bad drivers and other blatant acts of 'stupidity'.

If she is going to preach lessons of tolerance, perhaps she should re-read her own journal and grab a little tolerance herself.

Note To Self

What every mother wants (well, the mother in this household, anyway). Chocolate, Bar None.

From the article:

And it's not enough to just drop subtle hints ... we must provide our children (and our mates) with all the information they'll need to properly show their appreciation for the wonderful job we mothers do: We must give them recipes. Chocolate ones. With this in mind, I feel it is my public duty to share with you some of my personal favourites - all eminently suitable for Mother's Day, and all easy enough for even a dad [emphasis added] to help make.

Well, I for one know my way around the kitchen. And I have also received some not-so-subtle hints from Mo too.

Chocolate, must buy chocolate!

Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death

The internet is a weird and amazing place. I was just listening to a CD I picked up at the local Folk Festival many years ago. There is a song about "The Movie With The World's Worst Title".

Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death  (also known as Piranha Women of the Avocado Jungle of Death  as popularized by song writer, Christine Lavin

I thought Christine's version of the story (see second link) was funny, but apparently the actual movie (yes, there IS an actual movie with this name) is even funnier. I haven't actually seen the movie, but all the accounts of it I found say it is hilarious. The first link above has some snapshots, audio clips and one video clip. Enjoy.

Conservative

Well, I read Rebecca Blood's book The Weblog Handbook: Practical Advice on Creating and Maintaining Your Blog. I like the book and I like the Author's style too. I think, however, I am not interested in maintaining a "filter" style blog.

I tend to be too conservative. I stick pretty close to my own corner of the internet. I read a few blogs on a regular basis, but I limit my time to explore. I like to link to interesting articles, but it takes such a long time for me to compose decent remarks (I am pretty fussy) that I don't even do that often.

The PBGs' path was originally an expose of my experiences in running.

Things have drifted a bit recently. I am focusing more and more on the process of blogging and attracting attention and less and less on the important matter of my spiritual growth. The PBGs have told me time and again that the web stuff is simply a distraction.

So if you'll excuse me, I have a job to go search for.

---

On the other hand, I still like blogging. Maybe I'll get one of those sites that allows you to divide your posts into categories. That way, I can have PBGish thoughts and web-linky thought and keep them separate.

Tell me what you think. If you know how they do that, leave me a comment.

Give us this Day...

On my lunch break, I took a stroll around the building. With the wierd weather this year, I wanted to enjoy the lack of wind and sunny skies. Nice and warm.

On a whim, I sub-verbalized a "prayer" of thanks giving to God for giving me so much in my life.

Of course, God didn't make a sunny day just for my pleasure. She would have made it sunny anyway. But God also brought me to the point where I was able to be glad to experience the day.

Those of you who are parents will probably understand that we give to our children not because we need their praise. We don't feed, clothe, bathe, shelter, ..., (we don't want to be here all night) them because we want them to make us cute little statues in school. We do it because we love them unconditionally. We forgive their mistakes. We love them because of their imperfections.

God's love it like that too.

That helps me feel more comfortable about thanking God. God doesn't demand my thanks. Every parent knows that a child's 'debt' is not repaid by strips of burlap, glue, tissue paper and pipe-cleaners. It is repaid with a look, a touch, a smile and just the fact that they are who they are.

That they are growing to be who they are destined to be.

So in your life, do your best to make your God proud of you. Not for his praise. Not as a repayment of the goodness you have received. Not even for the praise you might receive from God's other children. But simply because it is the right thing to do.

Pressure to Change

---

6.4 Km, 30:27.36, Sunny 3°C, light wind

---

Ran by myself today on Neal's School route. I pushed myself much harder than I would have prior to running with Neal (approx. 7 min & 37 sec per mile!).

I guess in a way, I am pushing myself to be a better Christian too. My friends down south would probably say that I am getting a healthy shove from God too. Can't deny that. It would be tough to pull this old camel through a particularly tiny needle eye without some spiritual assistance.

Looking back on my spiritual quest, I am amazed. When I look back on my marathoning path I am equally amazed. I wouldn't say I was in bad shape before I started running. It is just that I am in so much better shape now.

Then there is my quest to be a good group leader. There are loads of a few skills I don't posses that are necessary for being a good leader:

• planning skills
• organization skills
• ability to call people on the phone (remember my phone phobia?)
• administrative experience

Well I guess I have a bit of all of those skills. Pushing myself to do these things is what makes me stronger in these areas. God's support helps me to face what I would ordinarily shy away from. Having a Godly purpose makes the doing easier and the 'pain' worth it.

Heck even the pain doesn't seem all that awful.

---

One final note. I am under immense pressure and stress. But my attitude is still relatively positive. Thank you everyone, Mo especially, for your support

[editor note: I want to bring the running back to the PBGs' Path by listing the run stats at the top like my earlier posts.]

Unclean Spirit

I learn more from preparing for a Sunday School Rotation than any other time.

---

Parable of the Empty House -- taken from Jesus Christ and the Christian Life: Vignettes of Truth

When the unclean spirit has gone out of a man, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, but it finds none. Then it says, "I will return to my house from which I came." And when it comes it finds it empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first.

Matthew 12:43-45

Here, vividly if grimly, is dramatized the peril of the uncommitted life, of one who may have had a genuine religious experience of forgiveness and deliverance but who does not follow it up with the positive acts and discipline of discipleship. The cleaned house needs to be occupied by the Holy Spirit.

---

I think this is an answer to the discussion I had recently about why "just being a good person" isn't enough. If your house is empty, who knows what will take up residence. If you do not know where you stand, you open yourself to drifting without purpose and conviction. Who knows what 'demons' will 'possess' you. Drug addictions, workaholism, sex addition, depression,... there are lots of demons we employ when our lives are empty and without purpose.

Between a Bunny and a Hard Place

Tonight, Mo and I read an article in the paper about Easter becoming too commercialized. This all-too-familiar rant appears for almost every holiday season now. It is almost as predictable as the changing of the seasons. While I agree with the sentiment, it has definitely lost a lot of its bite for me.

But it did get me thinking.

Having recently been to the Passion of the Christ, the contrast between Bunnies and Blood is very much at the forefront of my mind.

On one hand there are those who want to shock you into believing. They want you to believe that God will be angry with you if you don't acknowledge that Jesus died a horrible death on the cross because we are intrinsically sinful from birth:

BBC news reported at the end of March on a mock crucifixion, complete with fake blood and gore that shocked shoppers and bystanders in the town of Reading.

Here is another article about the same story in the Guardian:Gory crucifixion makes town's shoppers cross

And on the other hand, there are whole stores set up to sell us Jesus' merchandise:

Devine Treasures is a store that is having a sale on Easter paraphenalia. I checked out the rest of their site and found a plethora of religious items for sale. Crosses, plaques, plates, crucifixes, statues, angles, music boxes etc. Why don't they set up a temple, get some money changers and sell some indugences as well?

It is the Golden Calf that we pay homage to, not God or Jesus.

So it isn't just secular society that is selling Jesus down the Via Dolorosa.

Not your Every-Day Rat food!

I just couldn't resist quoting this little gem from Ms. Frizzle's blog:

You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.

-Anne Lamott

While I am not big on hating anybody, I am moved to think about who my 'created' gods, the PBGs, hate. LOL.

I also got a giggle from her lab rat story about infrequent blog posters. I hope the PBGs Path is on the Frizz's visitation list.

Internet Hand of God

I have knowingly put my hand into a hornets nest. My post Yes, but am I a Christian? has attracted attention from the USA bible belt. No fur has flown yet, but I fully expect that someone will see my attitude as blasphemous.

I assure you that my intent is far from blasphemy. When I use the term "Pop Bottle Gods" or PBGs it is really a placeholder for the God we all hold so dear. Due to my past non-involvement with organized religion, my PBGs were an access point that I found less threatening and more palatable during my spiritual awakening. They (the PBGs) allowed me to have a dialog with the divine that would not be possible in any other way. Through this conversation, I have become more involved with our church (through the grace of God) and I have far less discomfort with the term "God".

As I have written elsewhere, I have a knee-jerk reaction to the word "jesus" (lower case 'j' intentional). I continue to have associations between jesus and evangelical-born-again-Christians. The negative connotation stems from the secular world's general disdain of all things religious. It also stems from the witness attempts by groups such as the Mormons (more formally The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), Jehovah's witness, and others.

Now that my own attitudes toward my own spirituality have changed, I am less dismissive of these witness attempts. I am less vulnerable because I am more comfortable with my own faith. More importantly, I am more able to discuss intelligently with witnessers the merits of their position. Sometimes I can even leave them with thoughts about their own beliefs.

After all, I have just as much to learn from these children of our common God as they do from me. The details of their beliefs are different from mine. But that doesn't make them less human, nor does it make them less my neighbors in God.

Join the discussion! I now have my TrackBack thingy working.

---

Thank you Ron Shank for your prayers and your plea to potential "blaster" to hold back. I am indeed, as you say, "called by God". I do not know where God leads me, but I do know the place I go will be far grander than the place I would have gone with out Him/Her.

Yes, but am I a Christian?

On one of my blogrolled sites, Susan says Is He a Christian? From her description I am not at all sure that I would qualify as a Christian. So I left her a comment to see what she thinks. I hope she responds either on her site or mine.

Susan, if you are reading this, check out my PBGs introduction page. My journey has been pretty non-standard to this point and I wonder what you think of it.

Spam Report: Is It A Stroke?

Do you get emails from friends and relatives that say, "Pass this on to everyone in your address book"? Most of my acquaintances know that I don't respond to these and I usually don't forward them either.

But when I do get them, I don't just delete them. I am usually a little more proactive about the "spam" I receive. I like to inform myself about the messages I am sent. (Hence my "Spam Report" series) Then, if I find something dangerous or interesting, I send a reply to the person who sent me the email. Sometimes I tell them they are propagating a hoax. Sometime I tell them that they have been tricked.

To my surprise, the latest "pass it on" email I received from my brother contains valid advice that is based on fact rather than fiction! The email concerns three warning signs of stroke:

• ask the individual to smile.
• ask him or her to raise both arms
• ask the person to speak a simple sentence

You can read more about it here

Spam Report: $25 Million for nothing

This spam yells at you "We're giving away up to $25,000,000!*" and the 'fine' print says:

*No purchase necessary. See www.iwon.com for official rules, odds and prize information. Promotion ends 3/31/04. Open to US and Canadian residents (excluding Quebec) age 13 and over. Odds of winning depend on number of entries received. Annual Grand Prize winner's odds of winning $25 million are 1:250. Annual Grand Prize paid in equal annual installments over 40 years without interest.

Come on people. Use your heads.

If your math skills aren't very strong, let me help. $25 Million for ONE person over 40 years would be over $600,000 a year. This is a 'no purchase necessary' contest. For the odds to be 1:250 that would mean that

1. there are a maximum of 250 players in the contest and one prize of $25,000,000 (over 40 years)
2. there are less than 250 players in the contest and multiple multi-million-dollar prizes
3. They intentionally misrepresenting your chances of winning anything as the chances of winning the big prize
4. There isn't really a contest at all and they just want your email/contact information

Think it through.

Remember, this is an unsolicited email received from a company that only asks for your email address. It has likely been sent to 25 million email boxes. On with the test:

Which is the most likely? What product do you think they are selling? How many units would they have to sell in order to be able to pay out $25,000,000 over 40 years? All contests are intended to increase sales. Businesses are willing to take a 10% hit for 'advertising'. $250,000,000 in sales??? Must be a huge company. In business for 40 years? Must be a well known company.

But wait,...

...there isn't any logos! What are they hiding? No identity. No known products.

No Thanks!

Bible: Chapter and Verse

This site shows bible quotations, chapter and verse in 30 odd different bible versions. Free reference like Dictionary.com without the advertisments. Take a peak: PHIL 4:12

I found this on Dave's Supergalactic Megafantastic Blog-o-rama. The quote seemed appropriate for my current situation too:

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

Spam Report: Not Tickle-ish

As part of my on-going service, I would like to provide you with a report on a questionable banner ad you might have encountered in your e-travels.

Tickle is primarily a match making site or on-line dating site. But there are banner ads you may have encountered that are for various tests you can take.

The test that caught my eye was an I.Q. test. You know the one, it has a picture of Einstein on it or some colourful I.Q. test blocks. If you are curious, you click through. You are then brought to a 2 page I.Q. test which promises to tell you great things about your intelligence profile and even what careers that you would be suitable for. And it is "developed by PhDs" and "PhD certified"

Great. I'm in.

So I start answering the test questions. It takes a significant amount of time. Some of the questions are really easy, and others are quite tricky. After the second page, I am interested  in what my report will be. It seems like a valid test.

But at this point, I know something that you might not be aware of. I have encountered tickle before. I know that it is a match-making site. I have seen the popup ads for tickle at one of the sites I visit all the time. I have seen them enough to know how persistent they are.

I am also wary of dating sites because of a spam email I received, got curious about and investigated. This spam mail dating site was an email and personal information collection scheme!

Anyway, back to the test... Sure enough, after the final page of the I.Q. test, there is a screen that basically says, "Register on our site and we will give you the results of your test."

WHAT???!!

Grumble, grumble, ... waste my time ..., should never have clicked,...

Okay, so I want my results. I know that my name will go into the tickle dating database (They don't actually tell you that it is a dating database at this point). I have an extra (free) email that I am willing to sacrifice so I made up a name and some other contact details and filled in the fields.

The next screen tells me the I.Q. results (134, not that I am bragging) and then offers to sell me the full results from an "actual PhD" for $9.95 (Access to the dating site is 'free', test results $9.95)!

I just thought I would try and save you the trouble of going through this test, getting your contact information stolen and have you tempted to pay for a useless report in the bargain.

Talk about sophisticated scheme, eh?

---

SO... be wary! There are lots of offers out there. Some are very sophisticated and it may seem like you are getting great value for a small price. But you have no idea what they will deliver. Consider the cost AND the benefit. Your personal information is very valuable. Don't provide it on a whim. It doesn't cost much to make a web page LOOK like it is backed by a reputable company.

[Edit] There are others who have been burned by not being wary of enrollment schemes like Tickle's IQ test. Note: I hesitate to link to the complaints.com. It appears to be a low maintenance site designed to attract click-through advertisement. There does not seem to be ANY filtering of content posted by visitors. Consumer-Beware with anything you read on this site. It does add some anecdotal evidence, however, allowing the reader to assess other people's experiences.

Spam Report: Administration Masquerade

I got a notification in my email from BlogPatrol.com warning about hackers masquerading as 'admins'. I am glad that they notified me about this particular dodge. The attachment is, no doubt, a virus or some other malicious program.

The twist that makes it notable is that the file is zipped and has a password. That means that the content is encrypted. Email and virus scanners, therefore, cannot scan the content of these files and must skip them.

That means, dear reader, that YOU are your own worst enemy. If you are unwary, you put in the password, decrypt the virus and run the program, thinking it has already been scanned. IT HAS NOT BEEN SCANNED!

Don't be fooled.

Most, if not all, reputable services will NOT send you an attachment with executable code.

Exploits are changing quickly. Be wary of anything that seems suspicious. If you are not sure about something, ask someone you trust about it. You can also do what I do when I get something fishy in my email. Use a search engine to see if other people have encountered the same thing. More than likely, others have had your problem and can offer additional information.

For your reference, here is the text of the fake message.

   Dear user of Blogpatrol.com,

   We warn you about some attacks on your e-mail 
   account. Your computer may contain viruses, in 
   order to keep your computer and e-mail account 
   safe, please, follow the instructions.

   For more information see the attached file.  For 
   security reasons attached file is password 
   protected.  The password is \"52335\".

   Cheers,
   The Blogpatrol.com team
   http://www.blogpatrol.com

   Attachment 1 
   Type: application/octet-stream
   Filename: TextDocument.zip
   Encoding: base64 Download 

I find the most scary thing about this hoax is how friendly and personal it seems. It comes from a site I trust and seems to be directed right at me. The level of psychology that spammers are using is increasing. It could be that it is only a matter of time before I am fooled too.

Running Record

Okay, so I have decided to bear my sole (take off my running shoes?) and let you have a peek at my running log. I have been keeping track of my running progress on Running-Log.com for almost 2 years now. The site only shows you a monthly view of my running, not the more in-depth statistics it provides me. If you are a runner who is still using an old paper log (or an old calendar like I did at the start), perhaps it is time to upgrade and use an on-line log. On the other hand, if the site or the net goes down, you may lose access to your log (don't laugh, it happened to me once).

I guess I just like to live dangerously.

Mel Gibson´s "The Passion of The Christ"

In Sunday School next week I will be teaching my rotation on the Crucifixion of Christ. Challenging material to discuss with adults, let alone a mixed group of kids from kindergarten to grade 6. I thought I would make God's Eyes with them and somehow tie in all the cross aspects. I haven't fully fleshed out what I am going to do. I just hope I don't wait until the last minute to get things figured out.

---

While we are on the subject, have you heard about the movie "The Passion of the Christ" by Mel Gibson? I haven't seen it yet, but there is a group of us from my church going. One of the leaders at our church directed us to a news release the United Church of Canada has put out about the concepts in this movie. Here are some links:

The United Church of Canada issues statement on Lent and The Passion of The Christ
Deepening the Dialogue about "The Passion of The Christ"

I am doing more thinking about church this lent than I have done in all the past 40 years.

Wait a minute... 40 days of lent... 40 years old... 40 days in the wilderness... Is there a significance? Nah!

Anyway, like the greater church, my minister also directs my attention away from "Jesus died for our sins on the cross" to "Jesus loved us so much He made the ultimate sacrifice for championing the cause of the oppressed and suffering". He was willing to stand up to an oppressive and unfair social system. It does not seem to matter what identifiable group you are considering, there is always an elite group that takes control. It is the elites who separate, marginalize, put themselves above and apart from, denigrate and impoverish, take advantage of and oppress the masses.

Could Jesus have chosen a bigger red flag to wave at the elites than "The meek shall inherit the Earth"?

---

Just for the record, I am in no way anti-Semitic.

Your Best Interest

I hate my current work.

I don't like the environment. Our office is scummy. Our focus has changed from 'Science' to 'poker'. I don't feel like I get any respect or positive feedback for the work I do. I sometimes feel that the 'decision makers' above me have lost touch with reality.

Sure there are lots of things about my work that I do like. That is what makes it so hard to look for other work. I don't intend on listing what the good things are... (EDIT: not much point of doing that now is there?)

So I took my troubles to the PBGs. Ok, I'll say it, I prayed to Them... while running, for help. Let me tell you, that is not my way of doing things at all. I am uncomfortable with prayer and I think it is ONLY in the context of running that I could possibly be comfortable with 'voicing' a prayer.

As my run progressed I came to the conclusion that I really didn't want angels sliding down gossamer beams coming to my rescue. I have never had difficulty getting work in the past. I would fluke out and someone would offer me a job and I would accept it. Bang, bang, bang. It did, however seem like a pretty random process. I hardly ever considered if the job I was accepting was the right job for me. Not exactly career planning. Sort of career wandering.

So in the end, I ask Them NOT to help me get a job. "I would like to take a hand in it myself."

Much to my surprise, They agreed that "that would probably be for the best." But, they didn't leave it at that. They also sent me a couple symbols that notified me that their hand would be hidden, but their influence would still be there (and visible if I cared to look). They also said that blessings would be mine should I choose to accept them.

---

God paints the sky every moment of every day. If I choose to look at the ground, I can keep my world grey and negative. But when I am ready, all I have to do is look skyward to see the wonders placed there for all to see.

---

EDIT: This post is way overdue. I didn't actually post it until March 23, after I had been looking for work for 3 weeks

Given Up For Lent

I know very little about Lent. Sure I know that it is 40 consecutive days leading up to Good Friday, the 'anniversary' of Jesus' crucifixion. I also know that people 'give up things for lent'. Back in November Flasher Squirrel told me and my marathon travel mates about her various Lenten self denials.

So this year I decided to give up a few things for lent too.

First, I have vowed to give up clutter for lent. How does one give up clutter, you may be asking yourself? Well, I have decided to pick up 100+ things around the house. Every day! This may sound stressful, but you will be relieved to hear that I count picking up a bit of paper as one thing. Putting a dried fork away is another thing. Therefore, doing dishes is a very rewarding activity, indeed.

Just a point of clarification, however. Finding a dish in the living room and putting it near the sink does not count. To count the item has to be put in it's final home. The dish has to be WASHED and DRIED and PUT AWAY before it counts. Therefore, actually collecting and washing dishes is not quite as rewarding as drying and putting away.

I started practicing this Lenten commitment in January just to get a feel for how hard it was going to be to accomplish. The real deal (you know, Lent) started on Ash Wednesday. So far I have logged 110 and 128 things. Today I am up to only 38 things, so I had better get cracking!

---

Oh, and the other thing I am giving up for lent is having snacks at coffee time. Not healthy things like carrots and apples, but the over priced stuff they sell at the coffee bar. I already drink mostly water, so it is the snacks that have previously been my Waterloo.

Phone Phobia Action

I installed a new gadget to my Blog recently that allows me to see what kind of visitors I am getting. It tells me things like what browsers you are using, what links you are following to get here and what search terms you typed in to get here. Perhaps a bit snoopie of me, but then again, I am bearing my soul here so I want to know who is taking a peek.

One of the interesting things I have noticed in my page stats is how many people are arriving here by searching for varients of two particular key phrases. The first is Sara Freder Fake. On a whim, I subscribed to Sara Freder's 'service' to see what kind of advice she would give me. I made up a name and answered the questions as if I was someone else. It was amusing reading for a while, but there was SO much repetition. After I refused to pay a few times, I decided enough was enough.

On another whim, I decided to see what other people thought of Sara Freder by doing a Google search. I found some very serious people who, after being taken posted that she was a fake and a long list people replying with 'me too'.

Since posting the page linked above, I have received quite a few hits from people who I assume are also coming to the realization that 'she' (if indeed there really IS a Sara) is not what she pretends to be.

---

The second frequent Google key phrase hit is Phone Phobia. I was quite surprised at the amount of interest this term generated for my little blog. I only mentioned it once in a declarative post that wasn't intended to help anyone else deal with this fear. I can only guess at the reasons people are searching out information about phone phobia:

• looking for fellow sufferers
• wondering how common it is
• searching for testimonials or successful strategies
• looking for resources for a signifigant other who has this debilitating fear
• just looking for some hope
• or some other reason I will never fathom without it being told

Whatever their reasons, they ARE coming. And I thought to myself, "How can I facilitate these visitors and give them something worth come here for?"

The PBGs suggested that I put my money where my mouth is. They said, "you have been spouting off about Action all the time. Get busy buddy!". What? Follow my own advise? Are you crazy?

So They want me to face my own fear of phoning. I procrastinate. I prevaricate, I stall, I rationalize. They charge me to be the leader. The shining example. The call me to go boldy where no Star Treking Phone Phobiast has dared tread before (should that be 'dialed before'?).

---

If YOU are one of those visitors, please, please, PLEASE leave a comment for me so I can understand why you are coming. You don't have to identify yourself. And now, I have a phone call I have been putting off, so if you will excuse me...

---

Progress report

• <DONE! Feb 24> - Phone the Space Sciences Centre Re: Boy's Group field trip
• <Pending!> - Phone church to get permission sheets and put notice in bulletin
• <Pending!> - Phone Parents (multiple calls!!)

One Step Back

---

7.6 Km, 38:03.7, Overcast 1°C, 5 km wind

---

I was thinking about The More, the IS, the cosmic power on my run today. You know, God. The thing that is more that just the reality that surrounds us. That additional thing, that mysterious unexplained factor that keeps us guessing and seeking.

In my thoughts I was questioning again. Is there really a More? After all I have gone through from the beginning days of the PBGs, the Adult Baptism, I still question my faith in God. Is there really more than what I can see and understand with my own senses?

So I take 'One Step back' on my faith journey.

Ok. So. No god here. Just me. That brings me back to one of my original questions, pre PBGs, doesn't it. Why am I here. What purpose is there that keeps me (literally) putting one foot in front of the other? Aha! The answer is right there in front of me. Even if I decide that there is no god (how rash!) I still need to believe that there is some purpose to my existence. It is easier to believe there is something worth living for than it is to live a life not worth living. Having no belief would cause me to despair and eventually I would give up. Hey, I don't like the direction THAT thought train is headed.

So, I step forward again. Ok. Maybe there isn't a god and I should just pretend I believe. If I am going to pull this off, I had better pick something that gives me purpose and that is not easily disproved because that would just leave me One Step Back (or perhaps even more steps back).

But wait! Now I have purpose. I am on a quest. I am in pursuit of the 'More' that makes life worth living. I can handle that. If what I have discovered in my pursuit of God is anything to judge by, there are loads of things I can learn just by chasing this mysterious God concept.

I step one extra step forward and decide that I believe in the More and use the God concept as my stepping stone to learn more about the mystery that is life and what makes it worth living.

In a word, I choose to follow God.

---

For more inspiring words about the 'More' concept, look into Marcus J. Borg: The Heart of Christianity. There is other inspiring/challenging/thought provoking stuff in there as well.

Memory Palace

---

6.8 Km, 36:11.7, Sunny -11°C, calm

---

I Ran at lunch today and took a trip around the scenic Edmonton river valley. After puffing up a steep hill I took a breather at a bench in Ezio Faraone Park (actually the link shows a view that is virtually from the bench I am about to describe!) This quaint little park is very small and is dedicated to an 33 year old policeman who tragically was killed by two thieves he cornered in an alley.

Anyway, the bench I mentioned looks out over the river valley. On the bench is a memorial plaque remembering a couple who lived near by. The plaque said that they always admired the beautiful view from Ezio Faraone Park. I thought to myself, "Why do people bother putting up memorials like this? The couple are no longer here to appreciate either the view or the plaque."

I mean, after all, there are billions of people on this earth. Everyone thinks they are special and wants to be remembered. What makes this plaque so special?

The PBGs answer, "Well, the couple have surviving relatives, and it helps them remember the departed couple."

"Fine and good,", I respond, "but what does that mean to the rest of us who never knew this couple?" Ever patiently, the PBGs respond, "Lots of people admire this view. Lots of people remember lots of beautiful occasions and people. This memorial helps people revisit those good memories."

As I returned to my running, my thoughts turned to my blogging and to the book I am currently reading:

• Holy Fire by Bruce Sterling

In this book, Mr. Sterling describes a 'Memory Palace'. This memory palace is a place to store all the accumulated e-stuff its owner collected over a lifetime. You decorate your memory palace like you would an office or a house, keep files, pictures, movies, and other memorablia in it. Actually, it sounds a lot like a blog to me. A very fancy blog with virual reality walls and a lock and key. Probably not a public blog, but who knows, you might invite people 'over' to your memory palace and show them some of your stuff.

I have been thinking it would be nice to have a virtual place to call my own. A place for my memories. A place to remind me of the beautiful views in the world.

With this blog, maybe I already have the start of one.

Consider a Change In Direction

---

10.5 Miles, 1:40:41, Overcast -23°C, 14 km wind, Wind Chill -32°C

---

It has been pretty cold with lots of wind; not conducive to running outside.Well, I managed to get two runs in the past 7 days. By myself for a change.

Not that I don't enjoy running with my running buddies... But...

It is hard to meditate when I run with others. As I tried to pick my way through the snow clogged paths and drifted snow, I also ruminated on my career path as well. The City was in the process of clearing the sidewalks, but often a stretch would be cleared and then the driver would double back and head off in another direction. Thus, I would choose what looked like a promising path only to have it abruptly become much more difficult to navigate.

I deliberately chose some questionable paths because they were headed in the direction I wanted to go. Sometimes they were better, sometimes worse than I had expected. At one point I was forced to run on the road and this path seemed quite unsafe.

All in All, it was a hard workout but I reached my destination in one piece with no frostbite.

---

Wendy Edey is a member of our church. She is also involve with the Hope Foundation of Alberta she has written and posted many articles about hope. She spoke to us in church this Sunday about hope and dispair. She told us that studies have been done that indicate that people usually don't hear good news. Wendy said that people, when told 4 positive things and 1 negative thing, usually remeber the negative thing and not the postive things. She also mentioned that 95% of the news we get is negative. If newspapers devoted an equal amount of space to positive news, there wouldn't be room for the advertising and the paper would be too heavy to carry.

Is there room in your life for some hope?

---

One of the things that also came out of my run was the idea that I want more than just a realationship with God. My meditation helps me speak with God and God speaks to me through my experiences, but there is more to love than that. The Spirit in me wants to speak to the Spirit in others. We are the expression of God. We are the story tellers. Without us God has no voice, no hands. I filter the God experience through my emotions, senses, life conversation. My expression of God wants to experience your expression of God. They are entirely different. Weather I am speaking to an reformed alcoholic, an Iranian man or a Chinese janitor, I still see the small voice of God within. I take the risk and speak.

The path is hard.

But I have hope that it is worth it.

...and faith

---

refrain:

        O Jesus, you have looked into my eyes;
        kindly smiling, you have called out my name.
        On the sand I have abandoned my small boat,
        now with you, I will seek other seas.

Pescador de Hombres, "Fisher of Men." by Cesareo Gabarain

The Innocent and The Shy

Do you remember when I wrote about the small Voice of God? Well, I met up with the little girl who triggered that small gift of grace on the bus the other day.

She told me that she was singing a bus song. You know, that is what we need more of. Songs for every occasion. Bus songs. Work songs. I love you so much it hurts songs...

Oh wait, perhaps we have too many of those last type already ;)

Anyway, this little girl is just a little bit of a thing and she and her mother are pretty shy. Without the girl, I doubt I would ever have been able to talk to the mother. So her mother recognizes me from the last time we met on the bus and shyly says that the song in question was "The Wheels on the Bus".

Thinking of my OOPBGB list I asked her what her name was. She shyly said it was Divya. Welcome to my OOPBGB list Divya, I hope that you and your mother grow in the spirit and learn to break the silence, take a relational chance and get messy.

---

If you ride city transit, you will know that there are lots of unspoken rules that everybody follows, like "Don't look at anybody else", "Don't touch anybody else's stuff" and "Never talk to anybody you don't know". I'm tired of these rules and try to break them when ever I can. I LOVE looking at other people and trying to guess what kind of people they are. I have also decided to break the silence too.

It´s Blog-citing!

All sorts of interesting things in the Blogoshpere. I just added a meta tag for locating my blog source on the planet and discovered who my net-neighbors are. You can click on the GeoURL link below to see who else is freezing their butt off in this nasty cold snap.

I also added myself to blogwise, a site for categorizing web logs by self-attributed keywords and geographic locations. I am not registered yet as they have a backlog of 1200+ pages to view (!). I wouldn't want THAT job.

I got both these ideas from visiting Ms. Frizzle's blog. I haven't looked at it too closely yet, but she seems to be a teacher in a middle school. Guess what, she uses the same template as me! She gets WAY more hits than me. She also seems to post twice a day.

Phone Phobia

Note, I wrote this in my paper journal on Jan 17 but entered it today.

Last night, Mo shared an "Oprah moment" she taped recently. Actually the Oprah segment she taped was about financial security, but she also taped a Dr. Phil show about a woman who has a phone phobia. Mo knows me pretty well, but some of you may be surprised to hear that I also have a phobia about calling people on the telephone.

The guest on Dr. Phil's show doesn't like answering the phone and talking to people. She gets her husband to answer the phone. She never returns calls to friends who call her and leave messages for her. She always worries that she will get bad news when she answers the phone. She rationalizes that if she doesn't talk to people on the phone, she won't jeopardize her relationships with those people. From outside her phobia, it is obvious that she jeopardizes her relationships MORE by NOT answering the phone or returning peoples calls.

MY phobia is using the phone to get information from strangers (and to a minor extent phoning acquaintances who are not expecting my call). I get very flustered, don't know what to say, miss important questions and get the details confused about details because I just want the call to be over. I often feel like I am stuttering too much and that the person on the other end of the phone thinks, "Who is this moron, anyway?"

My anxiousness is usually strongest just before picking up the phone. The mood of the person I am calling is totally unknown. I can't tell if I am interrupting them or catching them at a bad time. I feel like I don't know the proper protocol and feel incredibly stupid.

I have developed some coping mechanisms over the years to mentally prepare myself for calls that just have to be made. I am much better than I was. I often try to get Mo to make calls to the doctor, order pizza, make reservations and the link. If she catches on, sometimes she forces me to do it myself.

Facing the fear is hard. Not using the phone is also hard in the modern world. Each time I face this fear, it gets a little easier to do. I still don't like it. I still have to work up my courage and get as prepared as I can before picking up the phone. But I do it.

Do you have a fear that immobilizes you? Is there something you face every day that drives you to do irrational things?

New Phase

I am beginning to think that it is time to retire the PBGs. They have served me well in the past, but now I am a bit more comfortable with saying 'God' I don't really need my own personal pair of gods.

That said, my own brand of gods have brought me a long way. I am so glad I was able to formulate my own understanding of the 'More' than physical referred to by Marcus Borg in his book "The Heart of Christianity". Having my own grounding in what I believe makes it much easier to evaluate what others have written about what one should believe.

It is very surprising to find that many of the ideas related to me by the PBGs (I can't really take the credit for the ideas, can I?) are very similar to the ideas I am now reading about in Borg's books. His writing makes being a Christian much more palatable for me.

On the other hand, I can see how his viewpoint is like stirring up a hornets nest in the 'earlier paradigm' crowd. I can hardly wait until my book study group starts discussing the chapter on Jesus.

Revisit the Past

Well folks, I spent a moment or two and updated all the posts in September of this year. Wow, I wrote a lot of entries in September. That seems to be the time of year when I blog the most. I like to think that it is because the PBGs have more 'material' to speak to with me with (i.e. everything isn't all covered with snow). Mo proved me wrong in this regard the other day by finding a three sided bottle.

It was great to go over all the posts from September as I brought them into the new site. There is a lot of great stuff in there and I tend to forget how things developed and what went on before.

Hopefully revisiting the past will inspire me to post more than once a month (like in December).

Will Blogging save the World?

The PBGs don't think so, but The Cluetrain Manifesto thinks that the internet will serve a very big role in the future development of business.

Literally, gotta run.

---

Now it is later and my run is over. Due to the freezing rain we had on the week end and this morning we thought our valley run would be pretty treacherous. It turned out to be relatively good footing and the temperature was just right.

You never can tell what the path will be like until you get out there and do it.

Hmmm, that sounds like something the PBGs would say, doesn't it?

Native Spirituality II

Prayer of Approach  Quoted from my church bulletin

O Great Spirit whose voice we hear in the winds, and whose breath gives life to all the world, hear us. We come before you as your children.
We are small and weak; we need your strength and wisdom.
Let us walk in beauty and make our eyes ever behold the red and purple sunsets.
May our hands respect the things you have made, our ears be sharp to hear your voice.
Make us wise, so that we may know the things you have taught your people,
the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock. We seek strength not to be superior to our brothers and sisters, but to live in harmony with ourselves and all of your creation.
Help us to be ever ready to come to you, so when life fades as a fading sunset, our spirits may come to you without shame. Amen.

Traditional Native American Prayer

Benediction

We have heard God call our name here. But this is not the only place God speaks. We listen each day for the voice of God, calling out our names. God is with us, always.

---

Old words, new feelings; others have passed this way before me.

God be with you also.

Pop bottle of Intent

---

5.5 Km, 28:00, Clear, -7°C, 9 km wind

---

Well, today was my first run since the Big B. at church. I ran with Mo and we saw a rabbit. We decided her name was Jill as opposed to Jack, who is my rabbit. After her 20 minutes, I got down to my own 'meditative' run.

I got to thinking about the failure of my Go-cart project with the Boy's Group and other things that are not 'going according to plan'. The inabilities I have are a part of me. But that doesn't mean I can slump down on the road and wait for someone to rescue me. My Go-cart project failed through my unwillingness to plan and act. Through procrastination and fear, I let it fail. It would have been nice if the PBGs would have made it all happen effortlessly. Like they did with Aslan the lion. But even in that case, it was me that decided what actions were necessary. I am the one who brings him to every Boy's Group meeting. I protect him from the boys rough handling.

It is all a matter of intent.

My whole spiritual inspiration was started by one pop bottle. Its value is insignificant taken by itself. I now take that bottle and tithe it to the PBGs as a token of my commitment to Them and my intention to live a life in Jesus (still hard to type).

It is like the bottle I carried for TS in the Marathon. The bottle itself isn't nearly as important as the message it carries to the recipient. The effort expended is what matters as does the love and caring implied by that effort. I have an over-supply of caring in my heart. I intend to share it with those who will allow it.

---

Some of you who are saying to yourselves, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." That may be so, but without intention, there is no direction. Without direction any action is futile. Undirected action or uncaring inaction are both aspects of evil. So the road to hell is also paved with futile undirected action and uncaring sloth. Intention is a starting point and a moral compass. Action comes from within and direction comes from without (if you are listening carefully)

Baptism day

Today was the "big day". Today was the day I publicly made my commitment to my congregation and to God to follow Jesus (Hard still to even type that name. I hope you will allow me the eccentricity of using place holders like the PBGs or just God). I make this commitment for the sake of the community I want to feel a part of; their well being is now my well being. I make this commitment to myself so that "with god as my helper" I will become all that I can (am meant to be). I also, dear reader, make the same commitment to you.

---

I woke up calm and relaxed. Mo will tell you, I was also in a silly mood. Old habit; when things get serious, I react by "lightening" the mood. I volunteered to be a Greeter with Jackie and we had wonderful time welcoming people to the church. Many of my good friend where present, even though my intention to be baptized was a closely guarded secret. Church was pretty usual until my son and two friends did an announcement skit for a church sleepover in January. They dressed up like Harry Potter, Ron and Hermiony. My son wore a black wig, round glasses frames and a face-paint scar. Mo wrote the script. It was great.

The second unusual thing was me up at the front getting baptized. My kids were asked to pour the water into the font for the ceremony. Then it was time to get down on my knees and be baptized. The minister sprinkled the water on my forehead. He said some words about the significance of the ceremony. Then he called up my 'family members' and he and they placed their hands on my head. I was surprised to see that Marnie and my mentor, Ken also came up along with Mo and my kids. That was a pleasant surprise. It is a pitty that Jackie also didn't feel comfortable enough to come up as well.

After the Baptisms were over, we weren't through yet. Val and I, as well as another lady, still needed to be confirmed. The confirmation was the part were we had to affirm our faith and agree to live a Christian life.

Then after that, there were two more people, Mo being one of them, that were moving their memberships from one United Church congregation to another.

After all the ceremonies had be done, we went back to the normal routine.

After the service I invited some people out for a celebration lunch at Tim Hortens.

Someone asked me if I felt any different. I had to admit that I didn't feel anything new. My feet still touch the ground. No halo appeared over my head. Marnie says the miracle happened long before I stood in front of that congregation. I think she is probably right.

Rescue Mission - there will be a test

---

No run today

---

I went on a rescue mission today. Hardly a damsel, though she had reason to be distressed. You see, last week her husband ran out on her. She has a low paying part-time job. Her apartment costs too much so she is moving from a small city 1 1/2 hrs south of here to live with her parents.

That is where I come in. Her parents go to my church and a couple of weeks ago I offered to help out with any lifting they needed around their house (the gentleman of the house recently had a heart attack). Who did they think about calling to help with the move? Yours truly.

My brother-in-law often says No good deed goes unpunished. Today I wondered if he was right. The gentleman didn't have a visa, so the van had to go on my card instead. I spent about 4 hrs driving the moving van. The gentleman had no idea where the damsel lived or worked. For the most part she was surely and negative. The woman has ash trays in her ash trays. I can still smell the smoke in my clothes. She gave us loading directions while her daughter's boyfriend and I did all the lifting and packed the van.

It's a test. I'm being tested already. One simple act of faith, and here I am being tested. Well, I still enjoyed my day. I wouldn't want to live in her life for even one day. But I was still good natured, pleasant, helpful and kind. Hey, it is in my nature. I helped lighten her load. I think I even saw her smile once. She certainly didn't deserve another kick from a complete stranger.

---

Oh, and BTW, tomorrow I am getting baptized and Confirmed as a member of the United Church of Canada. My wife, Mo is so happy. I am just nervous. I think I am past being scared about it. I feel pretty calm about it, actually.

Voice of God?

---

Run later today, Clear -20°C, 6 km wind

---

I had a spooky experience on the bus the other day. Well, not exactly spooky in the Hallowe'en sense, but in the spiritual sense.

I was watching a 3 year old playing with the zippers on her coat and thinking about my own kids when they were little. Out of the blue, a thought occurred to me about letting go of old business from the past. The spooky part (for me anyway) about it was that the experience was exactly like the 'Aha' moments I get while running. It seemed to have a quiet ring of truth to it that I sometimes get after thinking about something on my run for 4km/30 minutes. I am tempted to say it was the voice of God. DO-do-do-do.

I don't know about you, but that creeps me out. It wasn't scary or anything. I didn't hear a voice. I just recognized the tone of the thought. And it seemed to have a source beyond me. This thought wasn't telling me how to run my life, or which stock to buy or anything crazy. It was simply a continuation of my life conversation.

It had meaning in the context of the issues I hold and think about.

What meaning, you may ask? Mind your own business. That isn't important for me to relate. If this was a God experience, it wasn't at all what I expected (where were the trumpets?).

The important part to relate is that the 'God voice' wasn't any different from my usual self talk, but that with the practice I've had listening to the PBGs, I could distinguish it as important and separate from myself.

I can't believe I just wrote that. Crazy Nut Case!

Seattle Marathon Trip

---

Marathon trip report

---

This entry is about my Seattle Marathon trip. If you are looking for a race report look here.

What a great trip.

What started out as a compromise race (just happened to coincide with my training schedule) and a cost cutting measure (traveling with other people to reduce costs) turned into a wonderful excursion.

My traveling companions were three ladies I met through a friend at the Running Room. Before the trip I knew next to nothing about any of them.

What a crazy threesome I hooked up with. They, of course, knew each other and were great friends. They have participated together in other events before this one. I was the wild-card in the group. For journal purposes, they will be referred to as Twisted Squirrel (TS), Flasher Squirrel (FS) and BonBon Squirrel (BBS). I, by the way, became known as Red Faced Squirrel (RFS).

We all started out nervous about the trip; the unknown traveler (RFS of course), the new Marathon (for all of us except TS), driving a rental car across the U.S. Border, and what to expect for weather during the marathon.

As it turned out, everything went really well. Our slightly delayed flight was bumpy, but uneventful. Our border crossing was slow (½ hr) but we had a very nice crossing guard who was more interested in the marathon and how long it was than the apples we were smuggling across the border. And as for the weather, it was the best we could have hope for; not a drop of rain the whole time we were there (well, it did rain when we were in the car a few times, but that doesn't count, right?).

When we arrived in Seattle, we were greeted by the eerie specter of the space needle glowing in the dark, surrounded by mist and a spooky glow. It looked like a UFO getting ready for take-off.

After a few wrong turns, Mother Squirrel guided us to our hotel, we grabbed a late-night (2:00 AM) snack and retired to our beds.

On day two of our trip, we visited the marathon Expo to pick up our race packages (you know, the timing chip, race number, race shirt and a ton of pamphlets and other goodies) The expo also had lots of other running paraphernalia available as freebies or for purchase.

Since the weather was cooperating, we decided to take a walk down to Pike Place Market. I actually went to the "World Famous Pike Place Fish Market", but they weren't throwing any fish at the time. While we were there, we heard these three black gentlemen singing a wonderful Christmas Gospel song; Their voices were very rich and beautiful. TS bought some prints, we got our picture taken and then went to have dinner. We had fresh seafood, of course ($$).

Day Three: Marathon day (look here for a race report) We ran about 1 1/3 miles to the race as a warm-up. FS was running in the half-marathon, therefore, her race started earlier than the rest of us. We took pictures wished her luck and then checked my post race bag, did some last minute business and mentally prepared ourselves for the race.

A short time later(!) we were all finished our races and ready to head back up the hill to the hotel. (FS didn't manage to save us any clam chowder! Poohie Sulk) We were quite a sight to see, hobbling back to the hotel with our shining silver warm-up capes flapping in the wind, finisher medals displayed proudly around our necks and big grins (and the occasional grimace) on our faces.

We somehow managed to make it through the rest of the day without a long soak in a hot-tub; for me, a hot shower really doesn't cut it after a long hard marathon. BBS & I actually managed to muster enough energy to walk down to Eddie Bauers to do some cloths shopping before supper.

After a celebratory supper and a few toasts we all decided we were tired (I wonder why) so we trundled back to our hotel room and retired for the evening.

For our last day, our travel plans called for a leisurely day with an evening flight from Vancouver to Edmonton. We packed up our stuff by 11:00 or so and all went window shopping. We expected our border crossing to take time, but were pleasantly surprised when it only took a couple of minutes. We stopped by BBS's aunts place and also had a brief stop at the Richmund waterfront. Airport security also took very little time so before we knew it, we were raising a glass in the departure lounge and ready for the flight home.

I was really fortunate to have my three squirrel friends as traveling companions. We shared a lot, laughed a lot, shopped a lot (well, more than RFS is used to, anyway) and when through a lot (remember, the marathon? Oh yeah, that). I hope I won't soon forget this wonderful adventure. I also hope I have more adventures with these wonderful people, ah, ahem, squirrels.

Seattle Marathon Race Report

---

42.2 Km, 4:18:47, Partly Cloudy, 6°C, 12 km wind off Lake Washington

---

Well, it's official, I've run a marathon 3 times now.

I finished at 4 hrs, 18 minutes and 47 seconds ( the official clock says 4:19:27, but that is because it took me 40 seconds just to cross the Start line). That is a Personal Best (PB) for me and so much better than my last marathon in Red Deer.

I felt really strong the whole way. I wasn't at all "tired" aerobically. What gave out on me was my legs; I developed severe leg cramps 5 miles before the end of the marathon. The Seattle course has some killer hills at 19 miles. Soon after I hit the hills, my legs cramped up so much I had to stop and massage them. It got so bad in one place that I asked a volunteer to support me while I leaned on him and stretched. It was very painful. But I managed to keep going for the last 5 miles.

The weather for the marathon was really good for Seattle at this time of year. About 6°C, Partly cloudy although, there was a fairly strong wind off of Lake Washington.

One of my traveling partners was able to run roughly at my pace, so we decided to run together. It certainly is nice to have someone to run with. BonBon & I got off to a screaming start and by mile 4 had accumulated 4 minutes ahead of our target pace. We slowed down and were able to keep on pace for the next 11 miles. Then, around mile 15, we started to slip up a bit. When we reached the hills, I left BBS behind and thought I wouldn't see her until the end of the race.

To her great delight and my surprise, she caught up to me in the middle of the hilly section! We ran together for a while, but my cramps kept slowing me down and she left me behind. So she actually beat me!

That's OK, BBS, You certainly are a stronger runner than I am and if I didn't have those terrible cramps, we both would have finished together and had an awesome finish time.

See a drunkard in the rain

I found this quote in someone else's journal:

"The weather was an apologetic drunkard who kept spilling rain at inopportune places, and then trying to say how sorry it was for the accident. The weather isn't due to sober up for a couple more days, so I imagine it'll have a substantial backlog of shame to work off once it gains a more or less clear head."

I can certainly picture the drunkard stumbling apologetically about, barely in control of his actions.

Should I aspire to this kind of writing? Should I stick to my own brand of prose?

---

Hey, how about another link while we are at it. This one is a marathoner who is also a cartoonist. I guess not all marathon runners are free-loaders like me. Some use their talents to do people some good.

It is a pity that Steve didn't finish documenting his marathon training. I noticed that the page was last updated July 2002 and stops at week 11. He is using that same program the I am and I think it is 19 weeks.

Apparently he finished, but the journal didn't.

---

Doesn't Steve look a LOT like me?

   
Steve <======> Me
Link to a friend A CIV friend

[edit] CivGeneral link removed for privacy sake. Leave him alone already.

Fishy Philosophy

---

32 Km, 2:53:14, Sunny -10°C, 7 km wind

---

Yes, you read it right. 32 KM in 2 hrs and 53 minutes. For you Americans, that is 20 miles at 14°F. To the athletes in the crowd, that isn't terribly fast. The rest of you are probably thinking, "What, is he crazy?"

Today was my longest run between now and the Marathon at the end of November. My run started out pretty cold. By the time I was finished, the temperature had risen to almost the freezing point.

---

Mo sent me this link she received in her email box. She told me that she found it very PBGish. I am inclined to agree with her. I wasn't too impressed with the layout of the site, so I thought I would look for other sites on fish philosophy. I did some searching and found out where this "fishy" business started out. Who ever thought a fish mongery shop would have a website!

I must admit, the first link says more about the fish philosophy and what it is about than the second link. I guess the gurus at the fish shop were advised to sell their ideas through their business consultants. How very American to sell your grass roots ideas to the highest bidder!

What I have seen of the concepts, however, are great!

Provided That Which I Needed

---

6.8 Km, 35:42.2, Snowing -3°C, 9 km wind, wc -9°C

---

I forgot to "tithe" today.

Well..., I didn't exactly forget...

OK, I didn't want to tithe today... I was being greedy.

Do you know how the PBGs "punished" me? They gave me more cans. They gave me more bottles. Soon I had so many cans, covered with ice and snow, that I had to stop running. They were so slippery! They were damn cold. I had too many! And I kept finding more.

So I gave in. I "tithed" by placing most of my found containers in a position where some other PBGer would notice them.

How did the PBGs reward me for this generous tithing? They gave me more cans. They gave me more bottles. And before I had more than I could handle, the gave me a bag to put them in.

Mustard Seed Advise

---

Double Entry DAY! Woohoo!

---

I had coffee with a friend on Thursday. She is worried that her husband doesn't love her. I know that he does, and she is pretty sure that he does, but he doesn't show it to her very well.

*I* know that he loves her because I see it in his actions. He treats her with a great deal of respect. He honors her wishes and lets her be in control because he knows it makes her happier. Her well-being is his highest priority.

While my friend sees some of these ways he expresses his love for her, it isn't what she is looking for. She wants to receive cards. She wants "I love yous". She wants flowers. She wants tender touches (you know the kind that have nothing to do with sex?). She wants, in short, what most women want and what most men really don't understand. She wants a clear sign that she is loved!

Now, my friend is wise enough to know that her great need for external approval stems from her own insecurity. If he tells her he loves her, she will be more able to love herself. If he tells her she is lovely, she will feel slightly more beautiful. If he appreciates her appearance when she makes a special effort, she will take more care and look nicer for him.

---

So, for all you guys out there; pay attention. It isn't critical for you to understand your woman. Your route out of the dog house could well be very simple.

Notice the special efforts she makes. Take a sticky note, write a positive comment on it and leave it stuck to the microwave. Bring her an aspirin, without being asked and when she thanks you, tell her "you are worth it". She'll love you more, and in the end, you will find you love her more and show it to her better.

Carpe Diem

---

4 Miles, 32:02.11, Overcast 3°C, 5 km wind

---

Carpe Diem - Latin for seize the day.

I was high-jacked by friends to go and see a movie tonight; "The Life of David Gale" starring Kevin Spacey, Kate Winslet & Laura Linney. It was a difficult and engaging movie about Capital Punishment and Idealism and was also a bit like a murder mystery. There was also an under-current of the inevitability of death and the courage to face it.

After the movie, my friend gave me a ride home and we got to talking. I told her I was feeling selfish for spending so much money and time on training for and going to the Seattle Marathon.

"Just think of all the homeless people that could be fed if the tens of thousands of runners stayed home," I said. "What about the quality time with my family that I am giving up for this crazy hobby?" It makes running seem so foolish and selfish.

My friend, who has recently experienced more the her share of people close to her dying, gave me this advice.

"You have to follow your passions, because death can come suddenly and you may not have a tomorrow."

---

Well there is no doubt in my mind that running marathons is a passion of mine. I am registered in the Seattle marathon at the end of November; the debit has shown up on my Visa. I am going!

Eventually, you can look up finish times for Tim, Rita, Gina, Chris, Alesha, and Bonnie once they are posted.

Running is a powerful drug and most runners go into withdrawal when they don't/can't get a fix.

Ants go working...

---

No Run, 30 to 40 km winds

---

On the way home from work today I got to thinking about the value of what I am doing with my life. Although the work I accomplish is valuable (they wouldn't pay my wage if there was no value, would they?) It seems to me that it could easily be done by someone else. With billions of workers on the planet, I can hardly have a unique talent.

In what way is what I do special? How do I contribute to a world filled with worker-drones?

An ant hill has millions of virtually identical worker ants. Genetically, they are identical twin sisters. Almost like photocopies. Each ant wanders around ready to do any task that comes to hand (or perhaps pincher?) "There is a stone in the middle of this tunnel, I'll move it down the passage so it is out of the way." "This chamber is vacant, I will make it ready to be used for a brood chamber; ready for the next occupant." If some other ant encounters these tasks before me, they perform them and I simply look for something else to do. The task does not fit the ant, the ant simply finds the task.

As I look down on this ant hill from my godly position, I see only a mass of ants. They scurry here and there, each on their own "assigned task" Their ant hill, 100 times bigger than their diminutive size, is a marvel of their accumulated accomplishments.

So, my ant accomplishments are insignificant when you look at the entire ant world. With my smarter than average ant brain, I could decide that the queen ant would never notice if I went down a side passage and had a little nap.

Just don't tell the rest of the ants, because then nothing would get done and the hill would fall to ruin.

I guess I had better do my work after all.

Supposition d)

---

It is just as productive to try to predict the plan as it is to try to push it.

---

7.1 Km, 36:44.11, Clear 3°C, 7 km wind

---

Yesterday was our (Mo & my) first "Faith Enquiry" session at United Church. None of the people I invited to come, actually came and the people who were there I hadn't expected. So my attempt to predict what would happen as well as my efforts to influence what happened both failed.

A strong indication (well, to me anyway) that I navigate the rapids, not control the river.

---

We talked about Baptism, Community, and a bit about our expectations for the class.

I felt a bit disappointed about the class, but came away with a very strong need to figure out why I am attending.

What need will Confirmation fill for me?

I liked what Mo said to be about confirmation: "In action and deed, perhaps you are already Confirmed. The ceremony is simply the celebration of what you have already decided" (paraphrased by me, BTW).

I don't feel like there are any particular things I want to learn about the process of Confirmation. I have been going to church for long enough to know how the service works and what the Creed means. I know there is still lots for me to learn, but I am not in a hurry. Why am I here? What is the hurry? Why now?

It just seems like time. I've tossed in my "Blind" and I have received my cards. Now I wait to place my bets and see what is on the "river".

As the Supposition says, it doesn't pay to predict the Plan.

PBG Club: not mere Doofuses

---

6.8 Km, 34:00.2, Clear 1°C, 5 km wind

---

Today I met not one, but three members of the PBG Club.

First there is Robert. I met Robert as he was out walking his Grand Daughter's dogs Chance and Shadow. He is a very friendly fellow and quick to laugh. He was also carrying a bag of garbage he had collected along his path and some cans he had picked up. I told him I appreciated his efforts to tidy up the neighborhood.

At one point, Chance (who had a large cone shaped veterinarian collar on) dashed across the field to "greet" a lady and her dog. This turned out to be the second PBG Club member. She also admitted that she liked to have a clean neighborhood to walk through. She also cleaned up while she walked her dog.

After 7 years of waiting to encounter people who appreciated my cleaning up on my runs I didn't expect to meet two people with the same idea on the same day!

Then about 3 minutes later, I met another PBGer. This time it was another runner  with a bag full of pop cans. I had never encountered her out running before and have not seen her since. She didn't seem at all embarrassed about being seen carrying bottles. I offered her some of mine, but she didn't want them.

I met all three of these people on the same run! Within 5 minutes time! They are all concerned with how messy the neighborhood is. They all are lending a hand to make a difference. They are all members of the PBG Club

---

I like the idea of the Doofus tribe used by nikkip. I would like to start my own tribe too. Hopefully, my tribe will be more uplifting, but it is also tempting to just make it funny. Perhaps I will still illustrate the funniness of people without actually condemning them or laughing at them.

Yah, that sounds about right.

I intend to have a series of these posts, so look for the words PBG Club: in the title

Word of the Day: Arborescent

Word of the day: arborescent found in a quote on the Darwin Awards site:

"Humans are not the end result
of predictable evolutionary progress,
but rather a fortuitous... twig on the
enormously arborescent bush of life"
- Stephen J. Gould

Native Girl

---

15 miles, 2:21:11.0, Clear and cool, no wind

---

I met a Native Girl on my run today. As Neal said this evening, "I fell in love" instantly. It was as if I had known Her for a long time. This Native Girl is so much like the Spiritual Girl I am seeing now that it was breath-taking.

Unfortunately, like Neal, I saw her for only a brief glance, in passing on the trail. Actually it was one of the few moments that I was not chatting with Neal in 2 ? Hours of running.

Native Spirituality. Everything has a voice; birds, animals, trees, rocks. And Natives claim that they speak to them all. I imagine that a hunter would "hear" a lot from the twigs and blades of grass that have been displaced by his quarry. Moss on a tree tells him the direction he is facing. A bare rock marks a game trail or the den of an animal.

This seems pretty similar to the way the PBGs communicate with me. A bottle here, a playing card there. Perhaps a Milk jug or Jack, my prophetic rabbit. Symbols. Vocabulary from my conversations. I live in the city and the city "talks" to me.

Ok, not exactly to me, perhaps, but through me.

Spam Report: Sara Freder is a Fake

This is a public service announcement.:

---

<Ahem>

To those who choose to believe in strange things; beware. Astrology is not exactly a science and not all practitioners are, <Ahem>, exactly, um, honest.

---

If this link goes dead, I'll tell you what it said here: Sara Freder is a fake and a lot of people have been suckered by her.

What surprises me most about these people is that none of them seem to consider that Sara Freder is probably not even a real person. Ever wonder who did all the fancy programming for 'her' site? Who set up all the programming for the accounts for people who are silly enough to register?

You might think *I* am crazy for inventing gods of my own, but I don't ask you to send me money.

Well, I thought about doing just that, but the PBGs slapped my hand and told me to get a life.

[Edit] Judging from the number of hits I get from Google searches for Sara Freder(2 or 3 A DAY!), there are a LOT of people who wonder about Sara Freder's service. If you want to get rich, try becoming a Motley Fool instead. With a small monthly investment you will gradually make that million you are hankering for. Once you are a millionaire, who can help being sexually attractive?

Suggestion 7

---

What's important is not what others think of you, but what you think is Right.

---

10.2 Km (hills), 49:26.5, Sunny 15°C, light wind

---

It's a wonder that I learn these things at all. For days and days (ok, so it has been my entire life, what of it) the PBGs have been pounding me with the same message over and over. It's one of those types of messages that you know in the back of your mind, but you choose to ignore it. How else could I miss something so obvious.

If you are outward focused like me, you are pretty sensitive to other peoples' mood. Sometimes you feel like you can read their minds just by watching how they react. Over a lifetime you get pretty good at it. But often, if you take the trouble to ask them, you usually get a surprise. They invariably are thinking something quite different than what you expect. Sometimes they are busy with their own lives (The NERVE!) and not thinking about you at all.

I was running hills today and saw a woman who was running hills too. She was going slower than me, but seemed to be a pretty good runner and being very relaxed about her exercise. I was thinking, "I wonder what she thinks of me", my efforts, my form, etc. Then it occurred to me that she didn't even seem to recognize that I was there running past her again and again.

The observation that she wasn't even aware of me, caused me to be aware of all the other reminders from the PBGs. They have been trying to get me to not be so obsessed with myself and how I appear to others.

So what if my 'gems of wisdom', my 'unique perspectives' are languishing in obscurity. If I am to write, I should write because I have something worth saying.

If someone finds my viewpoint valuable, that is what the PBGs intended. If not, just as the PBGs predicted, this is a valuable side trip from my path that I have learned from.Yes, MTRF, you told me that weeks ago, but there is hearing and there is understanding.

---

Yesterday, there was a bus driver who was acting in a very OOPBGB'ish way. He was being extra friendly, asking trivia questions, wishing riders a 'good day' over the loud speaker...

If you have ridden an ETS bus, you will know that this is extremely un-bus-driverly. I was supposing what other passengers thought of this behavior. "He's crazy", "Is he drunk", "He seems to be in a good mood", "Is he serious?", "Where did this guy escape from?". Those are the thoughts I would worry about, if I was that bus driver.

I don't really know what all those people thought (I was probably close, but I bet there were some people that thought other things). But what was more intriguing to me was what the bus driver thought he was doing. What was his motivation? Why was he acting so strangely? Did he know that it seemed strange (I am betting he did, but that he did it anyway)? What did he hope to accomplish? And, did it work? Were people positively affected by his unusual behavior?

To act with purpose (any purpose) is to go beyond just thinking.

Right or wrong, an action is better than just a thought. And a fear of a thought, which kills an action, is murder in high degree.